So bad I listened to it twice. It's all in there, probably recorded this last week of March 2020.
"Biggest challenge of our lifetimes, act now to slow spread of virus, wash hands, stay home, get drunk, kill gran and why not kids too, make it a family affair, work from home if possible if an overweight accountant, avoid trains n stuff like that. If French and working at the office doing thick end of fukc all usually retreat to that second home in the country, and don't worry, you'll be paid, it's fine. Self employed people, well, they can just stay home and raid the piggy bank.
Stay away from 'crowded places' : pubs restaurants gyms cafés cinemas, and in fact to make that a reality, strict compliance is now in place, thanks to 'medical expert advice and advisors' and we now say to you that because elderly frail 82 yr old + people who tend to frequent the pubs restaurants cafs bars gyms etc, well we're going to have to close all those, you know instead of banning 82 yr olds. I must, thanks to my advice, ban everyone.
I don't need to remind you everyone has a family member or members who work in the NHS. For me it's my mom, my motheri in law her dad, his son, their brother-in-law, and my uncle bill and aunty pat.
I must stress, don't panic buy bog roll, there's plenty to go round, geddit?! I, me, and all of us here earning 250k.a year all in, we're here in the parliament like, will do our utmost, ..
.. difficult days ahead, hope, remind us, help, love, compassion kindness,..dedication [deadication, surely? ed] I'm calling it skype but soon Bill Gates will destroy skype like he destroyed nokia and there will be a thing called 'Zoom' so that will be brilliant, you'll see. We can call each other and stuff.
Then in about four months I'll have to insist you wear masks as part of the psychological fear operation my er parliament is undertaking, and make you all wear them at all times, so people will end up wearing them when alone in their cars. I'll mask kidz at school all day, then later on i'll, likely after the '2nd wave' to insist you're all rammed with an aluminium oxide GPS Shit box based liquid heart stoppin' powder iron filings drug cure that will guaranteed stop you ever getting ill with flu again and make you live to be a 100, at least, .. and also make you stuff a long tube up your nose for "PCR" reasons, everytime you want to take a SHit in public. We know the test itself is widely inaccurate and meaningless but it's the thought and thoughs that count. A meaningless result is not something to dismiss as absolute bull%&!*@ and absolute mickey mouse, but if do you test positive, are asymptomaic, asymetrical matic or a hampstermatic you will be like a mass murderer killing babies in a hospital in Gaza so again, we'll have to sort that out.
Thank you for your attention, god bless, now fukc off
Sturgeon: Covid-19 the biggest challenge of our lifetime https://youtu.be/p3KSw-cGKao?si=YxHn0hYjIIKWp2LB
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